not April Fools Day

We had the ultrasound today and I was expecting the worst, all symptoms vanished yesterday after finding the spotting, and I slept soundly all night without the need for a toilet break. Needless to say, we were very relieved that the ultrasound revealed that we had a heartbeat, actually two heartbeats.

Twins
Originally uploaded by lounbern

Twin 1
Originally uploaded by lounbern

Twin 2
Originally uploaded by lounbern

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a little bit freaking

I am spotting, not much but I will be going back to the loo to check before my next meeting at 2.30pm, if not before. If it continues I am going home or I will not be just a little bit freaking.





I am a little bit reassured by wiki.answers but not totally. I wish I could get onto B who is at a meeting most of the day and only contactable by mobile which he has not answered.





I think we should see if the clinic can do another bloodtest. The ultrasound on Monday seems too far away.

3ish B has been in contact and rung the clinic, we have an appointment with them tomorrow, midday.

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pram

We have our fingers crossed that we have not been a bit premature or jinxed this pregnancy. But today we bought a pram. It was a deal to good to be refused with 50- 70%. My mum had seen an add for a Bugaboo Warehouse Sale in Waterloo and we went just for the look. Apparently, this is the first time the warehouse has done a sale and does not forsee any for the future. Anyway, we got the limited edition denim, and the sand fleece accessories. There wasn't much choice by Sunday, which was the second day of the sale.

It seemed like a positive thing to be doing, amidst the nausea and exhaustion.
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five weeks

it was five weeks yesterday. The blood test last Friday confirmed that I am pregnant. I am waiting to get excited. It comes every now and then but, I am afraid past experiences have got me holding my emotions in check. We have an ultrasound booked with the obstetrician we have chosen in a few weeks, I am guessing once we pass that milestone we can relax.

Still radiating heat, experiencing the odd wave of nausea, and not sleeping terribly well. Ridiculous considering I am only five weeks along.
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pregnant

A picture tells a 1000 words...
Originally uploaded by lounbern

I know that we were told not to, but well, I had to know. Although this is not conclusive it eases the tension of waiting for Friday's blood test. It also explains the hot flushes, actually the constant furnace that I have become.


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don't do a home pregnancy test

in the early hours of this morning, say 3am, that is exactly what we were doing. I was not an overly willing participant, I was tired, needed a pit stop, and wanted to get back to sleep as quickly as possible. I have woken every day this week around this time, with varying success at getting back to sleep. Doing a home pregnancy test is not conducive for a good nights sleep, or for a settled day. The test was negative, which made me feel really depressed. Too tired to search for answers and finding no satisfying answers on the internet later in the day. It wasn't until the clinic rang this afternoon, asking after me, that my fears were settled. It is too early and a waste of time to be doing a test at this stage. Instead, the advice from the nurse, wait till the blood test next Friday.
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tears

I am feeling really teary today, waiting for the bloodtest to confirm whether we are pregnant or not is doing me in. Nine days to go, and with work rather stressful at the moment, I am trying really hard to let the stress pass over me.
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four for freezing

the news in today is that the remaining four embryo's did not progress. I am disappointed but, the other four are still good for freezing and being AA grade is really great. Really, really great considering that for the last egg collection, none of the subsequent embryo's were AA grade. That has me feeling hopeful.
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fingers crossed, legs crossed

this morning two AA grade embryo's were transferred. Four of the remaining eight embryo's have also reached a satisfactory stage for freezing, also AA grade. The final four are being watched for their progress.

The Next Sister Down was the inspiration for the title of this post, this is what she said to me over the phone minutes before we were called in for the transfer action, before breaking into laughter. It certainly broke the nervous tension.

Although, I did have a 'north shore moment' in the tranfer room when I refused the visiting (I read student) doctor from doing the transfer. I felt terrible, but I am sure I wouldn't be the only one to refuse that day, and with so much emotion riding on today, I explained I just didn't want to take the risk.
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11

The clinic has rung and things are looking pretty good. Of the 14 eggs collected yesterday, 11 have fertilised. The clinic will ring again on Saturday to advise us of their progress.

Compared to last time 16 eggs plus 2 'masses' were collected of which 10 fertilised. So I am feeling hopeful.

Tonight I start the crinone (progesterone) gel. Last time this did not agree with me that much. I am off work today and tomorrow, resting....
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should be sleeepy

I wish I could sleep. After getting home from the egg collection I slept a good 5 hours, waking with a headache and an uncomfortable feeling in the belly. It wasn't too bad really, but enough to make me a bit agitated. I think I went back to bed kinda early, can't really remember, but I guess I am paying for it now. I have been up for half an hour already, read some blogs and now posting. I will attempt to go back to bed and sleep, otherwise Thursday could be kind of messed up. Today I start the crinone gel/applicators (I haven't examined the brown bag to see which sort I have the joy of using) which is a daily dose of progesterone taken to support the uterus. It is a necessary evil as in the past has had the side effects for me of headache, nausea, bloating and sore breasts.

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14

Fourteen
Originally uploaded by lounbern

This is what I woke up too after surgery...

I'm kinda happy with that.

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Inconvenient week

None of this process is ever totally convenient. It was another early start with blood test and ultrasound at 7.15am this morning. All went well and the call from the clinic this afternoon confirmed that tonight the trigger injection was required tonight and that egg collection would be on Wednesday with transfer most likely Monday, next week.

This week I have a really big project at work happening requiring presentations to be prepared and given, and last minute edits to documentation to be made, but I will have to let go. This is difficult for me to do, but I am getting better at it.

This evening was bizarre, and the beginning of the inconvenient week in that I had a late night meeting to attend and the trigger injection had to be given at 8.40pm on the dot. I started wondering as soon as I got this piece of news should I do a bailout on the meeting, would my item on the agenda be over by 8pm giving me enough time to get home, or should B make his way out, so that I could duck out and have the injection in the dark of the carpark, or could we manage it without someone seeing us, by slipping into the toilets, or risk the open plan office. It ended up that the home option prevailed, but only after B had driven from home and was metres from my work, as the meeting ended within half and hour at 8pm and hurried phonecall was made to turn around and I would meet him at home.
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blood test and ultrasound

another blood test this morning to check oestrogen levels and an ultrasound to view follicle production. I guess it was ok, can't remember where we were at last time. This time I have around six to eight, it doesn't seem like many, although according to the nurse all seems to be on track. I am thinking that last time I had around 20, so am feeling a bit depressed. My concern being that not all of these will produce an egg and not all the eggs will fertilise. So we may not have many to play with. Although the nurse reminded me that it is quality not quantity....

I will probably have another ultrasound on Friday.

Change of plans

we are now on the short cycle. I am now on day 6. I have had to give myself the gonal f injections for the last four nights which has not been fun. They have to be given the same time every day so I chose 9.45pm, thinking that I would generally be home at this time. Friday, we were at the favourite brother and Sister in Law's and B made me give it to myself as he would be away for a few nights. Saturday night I joined the next sister down and her husband and friends for dinner at the Hunters Hill Bowling Club so gave myself the injection in their car in the carpark, really seedy.

Blood test yesterday, not sure exactly what that was for except that the phone call in the afternoon from the clinic advised that all was going well and that tonight I start on another injection as well as the gonal f. This I am not looking forward to, the second injection replaces the syneral nasal spray and is a one use injection. I am reserving my fear until I see the actual needle. I don't mind needles really, as long as I am not having to inject myself. So it might be the case that I have a one and a half hour round trip to mum's so that she can come out of nursing retirement and give me the injection if it is too freaky.

Tomorrow, I am also booked for another blood test and an ultrasound, not sure what is being looked at...follicle production???? This is terrible, I leave all this generally to B, and just go with the flow. So far so good though, with the side effects. I hope they will not be famous last words.

Communication people, please!

Guest post by: - B

Well, where do I start? L is so lucky that I am on top of things… You see, I have a chart of the process (Agonist Protocol) on my pin board at work!

Yesterday, I called L to say that I had made a call to the clinic, just to check the cycle as by the chart I was looking at, L should have already started the injections and Syneral. So here is a background of what has happened so far…

After the last miscarriage in October, we planned to try one more time for the year. But instead, the Specialist now wanted to do a couple of procedures to make sure that, anatomically, everything was OK. I had a meeting with him to discuss the process whilst L had a ‘phone hook-up’ as she was unable to attend.

A few days later, L was in theatre having a Hysteroscopy (having a look at the internal side of my uterus) and Laparoscopic surgery to have a look at the outside of the uterus to rule out Endometriosis. Biopsies were taken, as with some photos, and all was deemed OK.

Rather than having to go back and see him, he signed off a consent form for an Egg Collection Cycle (IVF) and on day ONE of the next bleed to call the clinic and collect medications (Syneral and FSH Injections). But the bleed never came and he put me onto Provera to speed things along. Now this is a 10 day course and 3-5 days after finishing, it L should have started to have a 'cycle'. But no, nothing ever goes according to plan with her body and after 10 days, last Friday I again rang the clinic for guidance. A blood test was ordered for the Monday after the weekend.

Guess what happened over that weekend, yep, L's body made a fool out of us both, and it started on the Saturday night and full blown on the Sunday. So Sunday is now DAY 1 and an appointment was made for a blood test for March 2.

It had been bugging me all week, so yesterday I called to discuss it with them. The nurse seemed a little confused as well and suggested a call to the Specialist was called for. He agreed that a ‘Long Cycle (Agonist Cycle) was to happen, but when I explained that we were told it would be a Quick Cycle (Antagonist Cycle) due to many factors no more so than L does not normally cycle anyway which include Ovulating, and there must have been a mix up. She suggested that, (after I asked pleaded if we had ‘missed the boat’ ) that a blood test today was urgent and that, provided L had baseline figures, she I could start giving the injections for the quick cycle, QUICKLY!

So, after a disturbed sleep which I might should post over at burntofferings, we were once again at the clinic early (7am) for a blood test, and I will get the results later today…

Stay tuned…
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you have been warned

The clinic rang today, and advised that we shall be starting the Synarel on 2 March, that is when the fun (tears and moodiness) really starts, and that we would need to pay the $4500 for the treatment before then. Time to curb the spending....

In other great news, sister no 2 announced she is having her second baby in August 2009. Sister no 1 is due in May and kindly let me know quietly before announcements were made. I am so grateful for her thoughtfulness. It is so hard to be confronted with such announcements in a public/group situation. The congratulations and questions seem to go on for ages. You are happy for the person but it also does your head in, because you are already so emotional, and why is it so hard for you. I also have to hand it to the Aunty who made the comment about how great for this 'accident' when it was so hard last time for my sister. I could only dream of 6 months on Clomid. It will be 5 years in April since we first started down this path of assisted reproduction.

I reread this post and I think, I sound horrible. Sorry.

Welcome visitor

We went on a long drive today. We set out early and didn't get back till early afternoon. I have an achey back and am really tired, and not from all the driving either. I got my period, is that too icky to write in a blog???? or should I use a euphamism like, we welcomed my on again, off again 'visitor'.*

I half expected when B booked me in for the blood test on Monday that my body would make a fool out of me. We have put a call into the clinic to advise of this progress and also to cancel Monday's appointment.

Deep breaths

Panic has started to set in. Nothing, no signs of a period and I am sure it should have started by now. Thoughts of menopause are crossing my mind.

B has made me an appointment with the clinic for Monday morning and a blood test to see where things are at.

now we wait

I have just finished my ten days on Provera, so far so good, no moodiness (that I am aware of). Actually, maybe that isn't such a good thing, no signs of PMS might mean that the Provera hasn't done its job. I did have an achey lower back the other day but I am putting that down to the help given in cleaning out a room at my parents house.



Rather than getting paranoid so early in the process I think I shall just patiently wait.

provera started

We are going back for more. Today I started the Provera, I feel refreshed from taking some annual leave over the Christmas period and recovered from the surgery in December.

The Hysteroscopy and Laparoscopy (probably spelt that wrong) really knocked be about, but was the catalyst for taking annual leave. I am already planning my next leave, in an effort to take better care of myself. Speaking of which I had my hair cut, eyebrows waxed and tinted, and a manicure and pedicure before returning to work. I am going to do this more often.

So yes, provera has been started, I take that for 10 days and then we wait.