Not so good news...

This morning, led us back to the clinic for a final pregnancy blood test, that I know will be a negative...

You see, last Thursday, I started 'spotting' which led to a very painful full period over the weekend. All I wanted to do was to stay in bed & keep warm on a sunny winters day. But this was not to be with B doing the final painting on Saturday and a Sunday jam packed with birthday celebrations!

Blood test this morning was difficult, both mentally knowing what the outcome will be, but also physically as the cold weather (6 degrees the car was telling me) and no breakfast or fluid to assist the veins to 'pop out'. Alicia, the nurse, was really lovely, first trying my usual spot in my right arm, then the the same spot in my left, both without success. She then tried a smaller gauge needle and back to the right, and with the idol threat of tears if she could not find it, and B reaching for the tissue box, success with a free flowing blood vacutainer!

Oh well, in a couple of hours all will be revealed with the standard phone call to B at around 1pm. Alicia did say that 9/10 period bleeds show a negative, whilst there is a 1/10 chance it may be positive, there is little to no hope, I know!

*** UPDATE ***

The 2.30pm phone call results shows, that there is hCG levels in the results, so they will be repeating them again on Thursday! The saga continues...

*** UPDATE ***

embryo transferred

Wednesday saw an embryo transferred and seven frozen. This is an unbelievable result by all accounts and I feel elated. The funny thing is I feel more relieved that seven are on ice than that one has been transferred. I guess because it won't feel real until we get a positive pregnancy result and with seven embryo's on ice I hopefully will not have to go through the whole egg collection process again.

I met a lady today who had 20 eggs collected (I can't imagine the pain she must have been in) and all were dud's. Although a subsequent egg collection with one embryo transferred saw her have two healthy twin boys. That is what you have to remind yourself makes it worth it.

The day of the embryo transfer we had to be at the clinic which is on the North Shore by 9.30am. So that we weren't held up by peak time traffic we set out quite early, and suprisingly the traffic was not so bad so we had an hour to spare, and decided to call into my parents house for a cup of tea. We didn't quite get the reception we expected, as my dad was in hospital with suspected kidney stones, and mum had not slept well. It was a relief for us that he arrived home as we were leaving for the clinic. We could now focus on our mission.

We pulled into the carpark at the clinic at the same time as my doctor. 15 minutes later and he was instructing us on the procedure to implant the embryo, first job being for me to remove clothes from the bottom half and for both of us to gown up (including a lovely head cap like as if you were going for surgery, and a pair of 'overshoes') and enter the room in which the tranfer would take place when we were ready. We thought that when we come out, we should get a photo, but we forgot (thankfully!). At this stage there was only one embryo ready, at the blastocyst stage. I was devastated, all that pain for one, but I was reminded they only needed one and this one was a good one, and give the others 24 hours and I could have some for freezing. Dr P was very positive this embryo was going to do the job. The process probably took all of 15 minutes with confirmation of name and birthdate (of me... NOT what this baby will be called) about three times, a viewing of the embryo on a monitor with strong magnification, placement of the catheter, release of the embryo and reexamination of the catheter to ensure that the embryo was no longer inside.

Hatched Blastocyst
Originally uploaded by lounbern

Then it was home to bed as I had woken with a cold that morning and I was hoping not to let it take hold. If I didn't have a cold I could have done whatever I liked it would make no difference to the outcome.

No success regarding the cold, it has really taken hold. We shall find out if we have had success on the baby front on 23 June.

And then there were 10...

Ok, so B just got 'The Call' from the clinic, and of the original 16+2, 10 have fertilised and it is all looking good, no GREAT!

Now on Monday, there will be another update from the clinic letting us know how things are going, so stay tuned.

Also, I am still in a fair bit of discomfort, however a brave face will be worn tonight for a wedding this afternoon (In 4 hours actually...) and we are still lazing about watching tv!

16 Right!*

An update on the progress... After a week of hormonal injections to stimulate my ovaries, I ended up with 16 eggs (and 2 masses). Here's how.

It all started back on Mothers day, with the Syneral to put me into menopause. This created all sorts of hot flush's, insomnia and so on... Once this had happened, it was then time to start hormonal stimulation, which meant that I had to have an injection, at the same time as the Syneral, the same time every night. Frequent blood test showed that my Estrogen levels were rising, and on Monday, it had reached 873 units. An ultrasound showed a large number of medium sized follicles, so all was looking good for this week.

Wednesday's ultrasound, showed the follicles to be, on average, 15mm. The way it was explained to me was, "imagine an ovary to be the size of a golf ball, normally. In your case now, it is now the size of a SOFTBALL"! Frikken Hell, no wonder I am in pain!!!

So this morning, at 5am, the alarm went off to send me on my way to the clinic. Not that it mattered as I was already awake! So a quick shower, wash the hair, and an iron of some 'comfy' cloths, (B had a coffee... grrr) we were off on our way hoping to not get stuck in Sydney's notorious peak hour traffic! Upon arrival, and a check of the paperwork (pay the fee) I was 'wisked away' to the preperation area and B was sent to 'deposit' his sample.

16 Right
Originally uploaded by lounbern

After a little rest, this is what I woke up too! More to follow next week, as Wednesday is the embyo transfer!

* Note: right hand + 16 eggs = 16 right!

I do not like 4am

this is so ridiculous, I want to be asleep. Yesterday, I was so tired by the evening, that I was at least able to get off to sleep without much trouble, that I was hoping I would sleep to the normal hour of 6am today, but no, here I am with my husband snoring next to me, and I am wide awake.

I had a terrible day yesterday and am determined not to be like that today. I was so depressed, had a couple of howls, felt anxious for no reason, and got myself into such a state that the dinner that B was slow cooking was abandoned a couple of hours in, and distraction sought by inviting ourselves to dinner at my parents. Thank you mum.

I got my period yesterday, a day or so early according to the chart, nothing to worry about according to the clinic. I am hoping the rollercoaster of emotions settles down for a bit. I still have a blood test on Thursday, the purpose of the blood test being to see how the body has reacted to the Synarel. I think that I can tell them that right now.

Yesterday, I also listened to my voicemail messages from that day and the day before (my phone had lost charge on Friday) and one of the messages provided a happy of sorts distraction. I think that I might have an interview for a job that I wouldn't mind, which diven the current process could get really complicated if I am successful on both counts.

I wish I could sleep

This is getting a little ridiculous, I am awake, wide awake, even though I have tried to go back to sleep.

My arm and shoulders are aching and I am seriously depressed. It came over me like a wave yesterday, made worse no doubt because I haven't been sleeping too well. I found one of the information sheets from the clinic and it noted that muscle aches and depression were possible side effects of the hormonal state that synarel puts you in. I can't remember what it said about insomnia, but I am sure that must have been there too. In my wacko state I am also questioning whether I really want a baby or not. I am crazy at the moment. Thank goodness it is the weekend.

synarel commenced

I stopped the provera on Monday and no period has followed, yay I think. I have a blood test on May 22.

It's my sixth day on synarel, a nasal spray that suppresses your own hormones. So far so good, although I have had a couple of nights of insomnia followed by waking up super early. I am not sure how much this is related though as there are little reported synarel side effects, and from time to time I suffer from insomnia anyway.

I also have an ache in my right arm and in the calf of my right leg, again I don't think this is related as I have been complaining of the pain in my leg since November last year and keep promising myself to get it checked out. The arm, I think is the result of removing nails last Saturday from timbers that we will be reusing in a project, and too much time spent on the computer.

Really the only issue I have been having with the Synarel is administering the spray. I am meant to have one spray in the morning and one in the evening, exactly 12 hours apart. On a couple of occassions I have had to give an additional spray, once because I had the spray too far up my nose and it just ran down the nozzle, and another time because I didn't take the clear plastic cover off the nozzle, the husband was actually giving me a hand this time and had tried twice before he realised the cover was on, the third time that the safety ring was still on. So it was actually four times lucky.

not quite the beginning

we are not new to the fertility clinic, but we are at the beginning of an IVF treatment so here goes....

after a rather heavy and sudden period the day before a blood test that was meant to tell me I was pregnant, it was a rush to schedule a meeting with my rather busy Specialist so that we could commence an IVF treatment. Timing is everything in this game. We needed to start the 'sniffy stuff' Syrinal (a nasal spray that blocks the pituitary) by day 22, that's if you are on a normal cycle. I am in no way normal though, we are at day????? I have lost count. Actually, I leave the counting to the clinic staff and my husband, and the husband has informed me I am at Day 28.

Day 21 was a meeting with the clinic and a blood test to see if I had ovulated. A phonecall in the afternoon to inform me (well B, I don't want to talk about it) that I hadn't ovulated and will need another blood test next week.

Day 28 another blood test, again the phonecall that I hadn't ovulated and come back for another blood test next week. Now this is where I stamp my foot and remind B, to remind the clinic that I do not have a normal cycle, this could go on for years and I am impatient. The new plan is that I commence on a course of Provera (I am not sure exactly what this is meant to do other than in the past it has brought on a Period, and that is good), so Provera is to be taken for seven days and on the sixth day I start the sniffy stuff. I am not sure if I will get a Period but that is part of the rollercoaster ride. Fasten your safety belts.